Was it worth it?
by free-2write-4me
Summary: Was it worth it? I hope it was worth it, I hope the partying and staying out late and the other girls were all worth it.
1. Chapter 1

Joanne sat silently on the couch in her and Maureen's apartment. On the couch that clashed horribly with everything else in the apartment but Maureen had insisted on buying, saying that it brought a certain something to the living room. Her head rested in her hands and her left foot tapped nervously on the carpet. She glanced at the clock, the current time was 12:56 a.m. Maureen should have been home about an hour ago but considering that this was Maureen she was dealing with. Joanne considered herself lucky if she came home before three. Joanne's head rose when she heard the sound of a key turning in the lock.

"Pookie, what are you doing awake." Said Maureen as she opened the front door stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Even from her position on the coach Joanne could smell the alcohol emanating from Maureen.

"Maureen, what is my favorite color?" Joanne asked her eyes following Maureen in her attempt to navigate her way toward the coach.

This wasn't the question Maureen had been expecting perhaps a, "where have you been?" or, "do you know what time it is?" she would have been able to answer, she was used to those questions. But this one she was totally unprepared for and the surprise caused her to stumble; Joanne fought the urge to get up and help her.

"Uhhh, blue…no wait red…green, yeah definitely green." Maureen replied the confusion apparent on her face.

"Purple, purple is my favorite color." Joanne replied her face void of emotion.

"What's my favorite season?" Joanne asked as Maureen finally managed to find a seat on the opposite end of the coach.

"Spring." Maureen mumbled as she began to take of her boots.

"Fall is my favorite season, because it reminds me of Angel." Joanne answered as she rose from the coach and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Oh yeah, I knew that." Maureen said as she stretched out completely. Her feet resting were Joanne had just been sitting.

"What's my mother's name?" Joanne asked she was now leaning against the kitchen counter watching Maureen.

"Ummmm… Mrs. Jefferson." Maureen said almost apologetically as her head rose over the back of the coach to look at Joanne in the kitchen.

Joanne closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then placed her drink on the kitchen counter before glancing back at Maureen her eyes wet with unshed tears.

"We've been dating for over a year and that's the best you can fucking come up with, Mrs. Jefferson." Joanne said her voice cold.

"What the hell is your problem Joanne, what's with the third degree? I'm not some witness on the stand for you to interrogate." Maureen replied anger flashing in her eyes.

"That's exactly my point; you're not some witness on the stand. You're my partner but you know as much about me as some witness on the stand." Joanne replied her voice rising in anger.

"Don't act so noble, you couldn't answer a single one of those questions if I asked you." Maureen replied her voice and tone changing to match Joanne's

"Your favorite color is red because you say that it brings out your eyes. Your favorite season is summer because you can wear barely any clothes and say it is because of the weather. Not that it stops you from wearing practically nothing in the winter, and your mother's name is Nancy." Joanne said her voice returning to a normal level.

Maureen stared at Joanne her mouth slightly agape. Every answer was correct. For the first time in a long time Maureen Johnson was at a loss for words. Joanne took this opportunity to continue.

"I know these things because I love you, I know these things because I take the time to listen to you, even if you don't say something with words… I also know that the last three auditions you've had were over about five hours before you came home." Joanne said a single tear running down her cheek.

"Joanne, Pookie, I swear…the auditions ran late… I came home as soon as they were over." Maureen began to explain but was interrupted by Joanne.

"Maureen, stop lying to me. I'm a lawyer, and a damn good one at that. I get paid to know when people are lying and you and I both now that right now you're lying and doing a bad job at it." Joanne said as she wiped the tears that were forming out of her eyes.

Maureen stood and walked towards Joanne, reaching out to pull her into a hug. But Joanne stepped away from her.

"Was it worth it? I hope it was worth it, I hope the partying and staying out late and the other girls were all worth it." Joanne said as she stepped away from Maureen's embrace.

"Worth what?" Maureen asked as her heart rose in her throat and her pulse quickened.

"Losing me." Joanne whispered as she walked into the bedroom.

Maureen followed behind her unsure of what was going on. Joanne couldn't be breaking up with her. This couldn't be happening. The sight she saw in the bedroom sent her reeling. Joanne had a small bagged packed apparently for herself. Most of Maureen's things were packed in a few large suitcases that were placed on the bed. A few other items of Maureen's still remained in the room. Almost like Joanne didn't have the strength to put them in suitcases herself.

"I'm going to stay at a hotel tonight. I'll be back here around five tomorrow night. I want you out by the time I get back. Since I've done most of the packing for you that shouldn't be a problem and I'm sure the guys at the loft will let you stay for awhile." Joanne said her eyes never meeting Maureen's

"Joanne wait…you can't… I'm sorry…I don't want to…" Maureen stuttered, unable to form a complete thought at the moment.

"I'm sorry too Maureen, I really am. Because I really love… I really loved you and I wanted this to work out so badly. But we're just too different." Joanne said solemnly.

Joanne grabbed her bag and walked past Maureen, their arms brushing lightly as she passed. Maureen followed her out of the door once again not able to form a reply, she knew nothing she could say would fix this situation or change Joanne's mind.

"Don't forget to leave your key." Joanne said over her shoulder as she opened the door and stepped into the hallway of their apartment building. She turned and met Maureen's eyes, "Goodbye love." She said quietly before she closed the door behind her.

Maureen walked to the door; she could hear the echo of Joanne's footsteps on the other side. She turned and placed her back against the door and slid down until she was seated.

"No Joanne, nothing was worth losing you." Maureen said quietly, an answer to a question and a revelation that came to late.

* * *

Hey everyone, thanks to all who reviewed my last story!!

I'm considering turning this one into a multi-chapter fic. Depends on the reviews.

Last but not least I don't own RENT


	2. Chapter 2

Maureen's eyes fluttered open, and for a few painful seconds the events of last night came flooding back to her. She was lying on the living room coach because she didn't have the strength to sleep in the bedroom where Joanne's presence assaulted her senses. She sat up and glanced a clock sitting on a small table next to the television. Her eyes carefully avoided the pictures of her and Joanne sitting in picture frames next to it. It was 7:30 in the morning and Maureen Johnson, infamous for not waking up before eleven was wide awake.

"What the hell am I doing awake so early?" she thought to herself as she rose from the coach and moved to the kitchen.

Maureen walked into the kitchen and removed a bowl from one of the cabinets. She paused for a moment when she realized the color of the bowl, it was a light shade of lavender. Maureen closed her eyes and ran a mental picture of all the rooms in the apartment through her mind. In the bathroom there were lilac colored towels. In the bedroom Joanne's duvet was a deep royal purple with matching sheets. In the living room, well there wasn't any purple in there but she realized that there was a purple scarf of Joanne's hanging in the closet. Maureen groaned in frustration as she poured cereal into her bowl and added milk. Why hadn't she noticed all of these things before? Of course purple was Joanne's favorite color she had some shade of it in about every room in the apartment.

"I know these things because I love you, I know these things because I take the time to listen to you, even if you don't say something with words." Maureen repeated Joanne's words to herself as she sat on the kitchen counter spooning Cap'n'Crunch into her mouth. Joanne may not have verbally told Maureen that purple was her favorite color. But it was obvious and if Maureen had taken the time to care she would have noticed, she should have noticed.

Once Maureen was finished with her cereal she placed the bowl in the sink and walked into the bedroom. She fought back tears as she crossed the threshold and the undeniable smell of Joanne surrounded her. It was a mix of lavender, vanilla, and the earthy scent of the oil she used in her hair. It was uniquely Joanne and Maureen craved it. Whenever she had a bad audition or a protest hadn't gone as planned all she had to do was place her face in the crook of Joanne's neck, as Joanne embraced her in a hug, take a few deep breaths and the world would dissolve around her and she knew that somehow everything would work out.

"How'd I let you slip away?" Maureen whispered to herself as she moved from the doorway to lie on the bed. She placed her head on Joanne's pillow and took several deep breaths. But this time she wasn't assured that things would work out. This time the smell of Joanne and the fact she wasn't in her arms just made her realize how badly she'd messed up and how broken things were.

Maureen sat up with a start her brown curls blinding her for a few seconds before she pushed them out of her face. She realized why she was up so early today, 7:30 was the time Joanne usually woke her up in the morning. Joanne would place a small kiss on her lips and whisper a soft goodbye as she went to work during the week or on Saturday before she went to the gym. Maureen would always fall back asleep after Joanne had said goodbye but apparently her body had set a timer for Joanne's goodbyes and so now here she was wide awake at what was now…7:50 in the morning, according to the digital clock on the stand beside the bed.

"Well that's just abso-freaken-lutly great. I'm getting up earlier then I ever have and Joanne's not even here to reward me." Maureen shouted as she rose from the bed and began searching atop the bedroom dresser for a visitors pass to Joanne's gym. Maureen was now determined to win Joanne back. Aside from the fact that Joanne was now causing her to wake up at 7:30 Maureen realized that Joanne was, no matter how cliché it sounded, the one and she didn't want anyone else. She may go to the bars and flirt but that was all it was, flirting, she just enjoyed the attention. Maureen realized that she would stop anything, everything, hell she would never go to a bar ever again if Joanne asked her to. As long as Joanne was there when she came home or she got to crush Joanne in a hug when Joanne came home from work. Maureen would give up anything. It was worth it.

"Oh thank Elsie!" Maureen exclaimed as she finally found a pass to the gym. She read the card and realized that the gym wasn't that far away in fact it was close enough to walk. She glanced at the clock it was now eight. Joanne usually didn't come home until around 9:30 so she had some time. Maureen grabbed one of Joanne's Harvard sweaters, her keys, threw on some sneakers and ran out the door.

* * *

By the time Maureen reached the gym she was out of breath. She had to take a few minutes to compose herself before speaking to the receptionist.

"Hi…my name is Maureen Johnson… and I'm looking for Joanne Jefferson… have you seen her?" Maureen managed to gasp to the receptionist at the front desk.

The receptionist stared uncertainly at her for a few moments before saying, "Mrs. Jefferson is currently upstairs on the treadmill. But I can't allow you in unless you have a membership card or a visitors pass."

Maureen placed the visitors' card on the desk and took off towards the stairs yelling a rushed, "thank you" to the receptionist behind her. As she reached the top of the stairs she could see Joanne on one of the several treadmills in the large room that was filled with other exercise equipment. The walls were large windows that had a view of the New York streets below. Joanne was in the corner her treadmill was facing away from Maureen she had a walkman's headphones in her ears and she was watching the people passing by below her. Maureen allowed herself a few seconds to catch her breath before advancing toward Joanne. Her eyes also roamed Joanne's body, she was wearing a canary yellow sports bra with black basketball shorts and black and yellow running shoes to match. She was running at a brisk jog and sweat was running down her body. Maureen licked her lips and a smile formed on her face as she watched Joanne run. This smile was wiped from her face when she saw a petit young blonde women approach Joanne. The girl placed her hand on Joanne's shoulder to get her attention. When Joanne noticed her she slowed the treadmill to a walk and took her headphones out of her ears and greeted the girl with a bright smile. From Maureen's view it was obvious that the other girl was flirting and Maureen Johnson knew the difference between flirting and just talking.

"Oh hell no," Maureen thought to herself, "this blonde bimbo bitch is not going to flirt with Joanne" Maureen walked over to Joanne and placed a possessive hand on the small of her back. Joanne emitted a small gasp of surprise then looked down at Maureen, the shock also evidence on her face.

"Hey Jo, who's your friend." Maureen asked in a sweet voice, her eyes shooting daggers at the blonde.

* * *

I decided to make chp.2 in Maureen's pov, sorry if she seems ooc.

Hope you enjoy! and sadly I still don't own RENT.


	3. Chapter 3

Shock, anger, confusion, happiness none of these emotions could properly describe exactly what Joanne was feeling at the moment. She was shocked that Maureen was actually up before eleven and forming coherent sentences. She was angry because the feel of Maureen's hand on the small of her back had caused a shiver to run through her body. She was confused as to what exactly Maureen was doing. She was happy that Maureen was there, apparently trying to convince her to get back together. But she was trying to ignore that.

Joanne turned the treadmill off and stepped in between the two women, "Uhhhh, Maureen this is Kristen, Kristen this is Maureen my…ex-girlfriend." Joanne managed to say as she glanced nervously between the two women.

Maureen was basically cursing Kristen out with her eyes and Kristen wasn't exactly backing down. Joanne really didn't want to have to break up a fight between the two women.

"Ohhh, so this is your _ex_- girlfriend." Kristen said as she and Maureen continued to stare each other down. She turned her gaze from Maureen to Joanne and asked "Well in that case, would you like to go out tonight? I know this really great Greek place, if you like Greek but we could go somewhere else, and then later, maybe we could go dancing."

"No I don't think she'll be able to go she doesn't like Greek food, she's deathly allergic actually." Maureen replied stepping a little closer to Kristen.

Joanne placed her hand on Maureen's arm and pulled her a few steps back. Shooting a back off look to Maureen with her eyes Maureen of course was too busy trying to intimidate Kristen to notice.

"Yeah that would be great. But could you excuse me a moment, I need to talk with Maureen." Joanne said hurriedly, she didn't actually want to go but she needed to put some distance between Maureen and Kristen quickly. She was fairly certain that Maureen was seconds from throwing a punch. She pulled Maureen over toward a black work out bench.

"What do you mean, yeah that would be great? Of course you can't go on a date with her." Maureen said as she finally turned her attention to Joanne.

"And why can't I go on a date with her, we are no longer together remember." Joanne replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. She definitely wasn't in the mood for Maureen to get protective now. When she and Maureen were together she would have been asking Joanne if they could have a threesome and now she was telling her she couldn't go out with another girl.

"Well to start off that girl is…short and you umm, you can't date someone shorter than you." Maureen managed to string together.

"What are you talking about, she's like the same height as you. Actually it doesn't really matter who you say I can go out with. Because we're no longer a couple you no longer have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do. You can offer friendly advice and I can choose weather or not to follow said advice. In this case I'll be going out tonight." Joanne replied with a raised eyebrow when she saw hurt come into Maureen's eyes.

Maureen took a step toward Joanne and took one of her hands in her own. "Ok fine Joanne whatever. But you can't go out with her because then you wouldn't be with me. If you're not with me then I don't… I can't…I won't" Maureen sighed at her inability to find the right words to express her feelings. She gently rubbed her thumb back and forth across Joanne's hand before continuing, "You can't be with her because then you wouldn't be with me and if you're not with me I don't know what I'd do."

Joanne took a few calming breaths and tried to ignore the feeling of Maureen's hand in her own. She had promised herself that she wouldn't get back together with Maureen this time. She had promised herself that she wouldn't go back because she would get hurt. She had told herself that she could find someone who would respect the fact the she believed in fidelity and commitment. She had promised herself that she would forget she loved Maureen Johnson.

Joanne raised her head to look Maureen in the eyes and said, "Maureen I'm sorry but I can't, I won't allow myself to get back into a relationship with you. You always end up hurting me and I'm tired. I'm tired of being hurt."

Maureen's body tensed as she heard Joanne's words, she withdrew her hand from Joanne's and ran it shakily through her hair. She couldn't be losing Joanne now not when she had realized how much she needed her. She looked into Joanne's eyes and saw the finality in them.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds to fight back tears before saying, "Ok Joanne, ok I understand and I just want to say I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you it may have seemed like it, but I never ever meant to hurt you. I love you."

Maureen leaned in and placed a small kiss on Joanne's cheek before turning and walking out of the gym.

* * *

Joanne returned to her apartment at 5:30 p.m. she placed the key in the lock but paused a few seconds before entering. She had spent the day trying to distract herself from missing Maureen she'd gone shopping, visited her parents, and even gone into work which she rarely did on Saturday. Joanne turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. A slight flutter of hope passing through her when she opened the door, hope that perhaps Maureen would be sitting on the couch still trying to win her back, Joanne opened the door and there was no Maureen in sight. She stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She placed her suitcase on the floor and walked into the bedroom. All of Maureen's things were gone and her key was on the dresser. Joanne walked over to the bed and sat down.

"So that's it." She thought to herself, "Maureen Johnson is out of this part of my life for good."

Joanne glanced at the clock it read 5:45 she got up and headed toward the bathroom. She had to be ready for her date with Kristen by 6:30 and tonight she needed to do something to forget.

* * *

Joanne sat silently at a small table in a dark night club. The table was facing the door so she was currently watching people enter and exit. As she waited for Kristen to come back, she had just excused herself and gone to the bathroom. Joanne wore a forest green dress it came a little higher then mid thigh had spaghetti straps and clung to her in all the right places. The dress matched the black purse and heels she was wearing. Joanne took a small sip of her beer then nearly choked on it when she saw Maureen enter the club. Of course Maureen looked great, she was wearing a red v-neck t-shirt, black leather pants, and a pair of boots that would make a dominatrix proud. There eyes met over the crowded dance floor and Joanne nearly passed out when Maureen began heading towards her. Joanne's eyebrows rose in surprise when Maureen ignored several attempts of people trying to get her attention on her way towards Joanne.

"Maureen I don't…" Joanne started to say until Maureen interrupted her.

"Look Joanne, I've been to five clubs in the last three hours looking for you and now that I've found you I'm not leaving until I get what I want." Maureen interjected

"And what might that be?" Joanne asked as she crossed her legs and nervously smoothed her dress.

"Well I realized that there was something I liked doing with you, something I liked more then talking, cuddling, and even sex. I love dancing with you and that's how I want to remember this, that's how I want to remember us." Maureen said as she gestured between her and Joanne. "So I guess what I'm trying to say is will you dance with me one last time."

Joanne sighed and glanced nervously toward the bathroom making sure she didn't see Kristen coming out.

"Fine Maureen, one song before I go." Joanne said as she stood and headed towards the dance floor.

Music that had moments before been fast paced changed to a slow dance as Maureen and Joanne headed onto the dance floor. Maureen walked in front of Joanne and placed her arms around her waist. Joanne looped her arms loosely around Maureen's neck and they began to dance.

"Thanks for doing this for me." Maureen said as they swayed to the music.

"It's no problem Maureen." Joanne replied quietly.

Joanne leaned into Maureen's body as she felt the familiar sense of happiness that came with being around Maureen over come her. She sighed when she heard the song end but didn't pull away. She watched as Maureen glanced down at her lips then back to her eyes before slowly leaning in to kiss her. Joanne's eyes fluttered close when she felt their lips meet and she began to kiss Maureen back. Losing her self in the world they had created. She tangled her hands in Maureen's hair. But pulled back suddenly when she felt Maureen brush her tongue against her bottom lip, she took a small step back and took a deep breath.

"Oh my gosh Joanne, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean, well actually yeah I meant to kiss you. But I shouldn't have I'm sorry." Maureen quickly said

"No no, its fine Maureen forget it." Joanne said as she placed her fingers against her lips.

Shock, anger, confusion, happiness none of these emotions could properly describe exactly what Joanne was feeling at the moment. She was shocked at how easily Maureen could come back into her life. She was angry that she had pulled away. She was confused because after a kiss like that who wouldn't be a little dazed. She was happy… just happy. To add to the mix was fear, Joanne was afraid because it was getting harder and harder to convince herself not to allow Maureen back in.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone sorry for the how long it has taken to update

* * *

Joanne took a few larger steps backward, widening the distance between her and Maureen. She couldn't handle the closeness. She couldn't handle the light peach scent of Maureen's shampoo. She couldn't handle the penetrating gaze of Maureen's emerald eyes. She couldn't handle that Maureen had the power to cause her to lose control.

A small smile formed on Joanne's face as she remembered a time Maureen had taken her to the park. They had walked through the park laughing and holding hands until finally they came to a playground. Maureen had broken free of her grasp and run over to a set of swings. By the time Joanne caught up with her Maureen was already in a swing pumping her legs back and forth. Joanne had watched as Maureen pushed the swing higher and higher. Then one moment Maureen jumped out of the swing, her brown curls flying behind her and her arms spread out as if in flight. Joanne's heart rose in her throat as she watched Maureen fly into the air and land heavily on the ground. She had jumped out of the swing she was sitting in and rushed over to Maureen. She kneeled beside her only to find that Maureen was laughing, laughing so hard a few tears had escaped her eyes. Joanne had been so scared during that moment. More scared then she could remember being in a long time, she had lost control.

Joanne's thoughts were interrupted by the feel of a light tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Kristen standing behind her. "Is everything okay Joey?" Kristen asked as she placed her hand on Joanne's shoulder.

Joanne cringed at the use of Kristen's nickname. She had hated being called Joey since she was a little girl and everyone close to her knew that. Kristen had been calling her it all night and Joanne just wasn't in the mood to correct her. But apparently Maureen was.

"She hates being called Joey." Maureen said as her eyes moved from Joanne's face to the hand placed on her shoulder.

"Oh really, she hasn't said anything to me about it tonight." Kristen replied as she stepped closer to Joanne.

"If you had been paying any attention to her at all tonight, you would've noticed that she cringed every time you called her Joey." Maureen replied her eyes moving back to look into Joanne's

Kristen released her grasp on Joanne's shoulder and stepped closer to Maureen before saying. "I have been paying attention to her, thank you very much, unlike you. I bet you don't even know her favorite color."

Maureen let out a small laugh at the irony of Kristen's statement. "I could tell you her favorite color."

"Kristen lets just go." Joanne said as she placed a hand on Kristen's elbow.

Kristen shook off Joanne's hand. "No Joanne lets not go. This slut over here is acting so high and mighty like she's never done you any wrong. But you used to come to me in tears complaining about how she doesn't know you or how you were afraid she was cheating on you. Yet here she is acting like she's better then me."

Maureen glanced between Kristen and Joanne searching Joanne's face to see if Kristen's statements were true. Joanne avoided her gaze and again tried to stop Kristen. "Just stop, this is between me and her." She began to say.

"No Joanne let her speak." Maureen said. "She actually has a point I don't know everything about you, but I do know a few things."

"Oh really, what do you know about Joanne." Kristen interrupted as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Well I know that her favorite breakfast to eat in the morning is an orange. I could taste it on her lips when she kissed me goodbye every morning. I know that when she's scared she hums" Maureen paused a smile forming on her lips, "Because whenever we would watch a scary movie she'd start to hum when she got scared. So whenever she started humming I'd always tell her I was scared and ask her to come cuddle with me"

"I know that orchids are her favorite flower. Because that's what she takes to put on Angel's grave." Maureen continued, "I know a lot of things about Joanne but most importantly I know she could do way better than you bitch." Maureen finished a smirk forming on her face.

"Oh great" Joanne thought to herself as she moved forward to try and prevent an altercation between the two. Unfortunately she wasn't quick enough. Kristen took a step toward Maureen and swung, her fist landing on the side of Maureen's face. Maureen stumbled back a few steps before regaining her balance and swinging back. Joanne watched for a few seconds in utter shock as Maureen landed two hits to Kristen face. Joanne quickly moved to try and separate the fight, she called for help as she went over to Kristen and wrapped her arms around her from behind and began to drag her away. Kristen was struggling against her and got loose once before Joanne could fully separate the two. A bouncer had joined in the efforts and was now restraining Maureen. Joanne pulled Kristen to the bar and sat her down.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Joanne asked as her eyes roamed Kristen looking for any serious injuries. Fortunately there weren't any.

"What do you mean what is my problem she called me a bitch and has been disrespectful to me since I met her." Kristen replied as she regained her breath.

Joanne turned to look for Maureen her eyes scanned the club but she didn't see her. She finally saw her walking toward the exit, a wad of paper towel pressed to the side of her face.

Joanne turned back to Kristen, " Look, I'm sorry about tonight I didn't mean to lead you on or anything but. I still care a lot about Maureen and well… I have to go."

Joanne turned and ran back to her table grabbed her purse and jacket and ran outside. Searching frantically for Maureen, she finally saw her at the end of the street waiting to cross.

"Wait Maureen, wait." Joanne yelled as she ran to catch up to Maureen

Joanne caught up to Maureen and placed her hand around her wrist to keep her from leaving.

"Are you okay?" Joanne asked as she glanced to the wad of paper towel Maureen was holding to her face.

"Yeah I'm fine." Maureen replied

Joanne reached up and pulled the paper towel a few inches away from Maureen's face, Maureen winced slightly. Maureen had a large cut in her face, Kristen had been wearing a ring when she hit her and it had cut deep.

"Oh my God, we need to get you to the hospital." Joanne said as she examined Maureen's wound.

"I was sorta headed there right now." Maureen replied, "Don't feel obligated to come or anything."

"Obligated? Maureen I feel a lot of things right now, obligation certainly isn't one of them. Right now we need to get you to a hospital." Joanne replied as she pulled Maureen across the street in the direction of the nearest hospital.

* * *

Joanne and Maureen sat quietly in a hospital room. Maureen had gotten a few stitches for the cut on her face and they were now waiting to be discharged.

"What's the time?" Maureen asked as she sat upright on the hospital bed, her feet swinging below her.

"Well, its gotta be close to midnight." Joanne replied as she glanced around the room looking for a clock.

Maureen was about to say something when a tired looking doctor walked in to the room.

"Hello again Miss. Johnson. Hello Miss. Jefferson" He said as he glanced down at a manila folder he had in his hands.

"Uh…hello Doctor Warner. Not to be rude but I though I was being discharged" Maureen said as she glanced confusedly at Joanne.

"Well, we ran some blood test, while treating the cut on your face, just to make sure there wasn't an infection or anything. We found something a little concerning, unfortunately we are going to have to ask you to stay a little while longer. We need to run a few more test." Dr. Warner replied as he closed the folder.

* * *

I hope Kristen didn't seem too violent. I hope their previous meeting in the gym and Maureen calling her a bitch was enough to justify the fight.

A few reader questions

1. Should I bring the other bohos in?

2. How do you guys like the ending of this chapter? lol, sorry but I was so proud if myself when I thought of this cliffhanger.


	5. Chapter 5

Joanne sat stiffly in an uncomfortable chair in Maureen's hospital room. They had been waiting there since the doctor left. Maureen had gotten some blood drawn but other then that nothing more eventful had occurred. Joanne glanced at the clock hanging on the wall above the door. It read 1:45 a.m. Maureen had fallen asleep about a half an hour ago. Joanne rose from her seat and walked over toward the bed. She sat gently down and studied Maureen for a few moments. She gently reached out and moved some of Maureen's hair out of her face. Her fingers lingering on Maureen's cheek before she placed her hand back in her lap and let out a large sigh.

Joanne was startled by a quiet clearing of the throat at the doorway. She turned and saw that it was Dr. Warner. He motioned for Joanne to come over to him. She took one last look at Maureen, to make sure she was still asleep. She then stood and walked over to the him.

"Yes Dr. Warner." Joanne said tiredly as she ran a hand through her short curls. "Are the results of the test back yet?"

"Yes Ms. Jefferson the results of the test are back. But I wanted to speak with you privately before I speak with Ms. Johnson." The doctor said as he looked pityingly at Joanne.

Joanne stiffened at the statement. She ran a slightly shaky hand over her face before asking, "What is it exactly you want to talk to me about?"

The doctor placed his hands into his lab coat pockets, "Let's discuss it over here." The doctor said as he took a few steps away from Maureen's doorway into the silent hospital hallway. Joanne followed him, they stopped in front of the nurse's station where Dr. Warner received another manila file from a waiting nurse.

He glanced into the file before continuing "It would appear that Maureen has been putting a lot of stress on her liver. Do you know what the liver does Ms. Jefferson?"

"Uh, doesn't it filter toxins from the body?" Joanne said confusedly.

"Correct, that is, in a nutshell the function of the liver. Do you know how a person stresses the liver?" The doctor replied

"Look, I went to law school not med school so why don't you stop asking me the questions and you start answering them. I'm not in the mood for a rousing game of twenty questions." Joanne said in frustration as she folded her arms over her chest.

"My apologize Ms. Jefferson. Well straight to the point then. Ms. Johnson has been putting a lot of stress on her liver. Presumably from consuming large amounts of alcohol on a regular basis, her liver just can't keep up. Luckily we've caught this early so no serious damage has been done. You see Maureen's liver is having trouble filtering all the toxins out of her blood. Its doing the best it can but some is still slipping through. Into her blood stream and this is not good. So to fix this Maureen is going to have to give her body time to heal. Which it will, but she'll have to stop drinking alcohol for about two months."

Joanne chuckled bitterly, "Good luck with that." She mumbled

The doctor continued. "And then regulate the amount she drinks after that. So since you two are a couple…"

"We're not a couple…anymore." Joanne interrupted

"Oh, I assumed since you brought her in that you two were together. Well actually it doesn't really matter. What she needs right now is a friend, this is going to be a big life change for Maureen and she is going to need support to get through it because it is going to be hard." The doctor finished and closed the folder.

Joanne stood silently. The doctor's words taking affect. She glanced at the floor then glanced back up at the doctor, "We need to tell Maureen."

Joanne turned on her heel and walked to Maureen's room the doctor following behind her. She walked over to the bed Maureen was sleeping in and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gently shook Maureen to wake her up.

"Wha…What is it Joanne? I was having a really good dream." Maureen said groggily as Joanne's actions finally woke her.

"The doctor's here, he has the results of the blood work and he wants to talk with you." Joanne replied. She moved to the sit in the chair she had previously occupied.

Maureen sat up and rubbed her eyes. She glanced between the doctor and Joanne, "so, what's up doc?" she said with a large smile on her face.

"Well Maureen, do you know what your liver does?" Doctor Warner asked. Joanne shook her head back and forth before placing it in her hands.

"It filters stuff right." Maureen replied eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"That's correct, and do you know how you put stress on the liver?" Doctor Warner asked again

"Yeah I know exactly how you stress the liver, cause I'm the one went to med school." Maureen said sarcastically.

Joanne let out a laugh from her position in the chair.

Doctor Warner explained to Maureen everything he had told Joanne as well as what could happen to Maureen if she didn't follow his orders. He told her to get an appointment for a check-up at the end of two months and that she was free to go he then exited the room.

Maureen sat silently on the hospital bed. Joanne watched her unsure of what exactly she should say. Joanne stood from her chair and began to gather her things. Maureen's eyes moved from where they had been vacantly looking at the wall to watch Joanne.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

Joanne looked up from her bent position of sitting in the chair and putting her heels back on, "Well we are going back to my apartment, because the loft is too far for you to go by yourself at this time of night, then we're going to go to sleep…then I don't know. But I'm not sitting in this hospital all night. So get up and let's go."

Maureen stared at Joanne, shocked at how calm she could be at the moment. Nonetheless she stood and began to put on her boots. Joanne waited at the door as she finished putting her boots on and then stood and put her leather jacket on.

* * *

Maureen and Joanne stood outside of Joanne's apartment door as Joanne looked through her purse for her keys. Maureen stood behind Joanne, and because of her heels was able to look over her shoulder and watch as Joanne searched for her keys. Joanne shuddered as she felt Maureen's warm breath on her neck. She finally found her keys and quickly opened the door. Maureen and Joanne walked in and Joanne closed the door behind them.

"I'll go get you some pjs to sleep in… I think it would be best if you slept on the coach." Joanne said as she headed toward her bedroom.

Maureen watched as Joanne headed to the bathroom. She took off her jacket and placed it over the back of the coach. She sat down and placed her head in her hands. Joanne walked back into the living room to find Maureen in this position.

She sat down next to Maureen laying the pjs in her lap and placing an arm around Maureen's shoulders, pulling her close, "Its gonna be ok." She whispered into Maureen's hair. "Luckily this was caught really early and no serious damage has been done."

Maureen raised her head and looked into Joanne's eyes, "Joanne I'm scared. Scared I won't be able to do this by myself"

"You aren't doing this by yourself… I'm here for you, just as everyone else at the loft will be." Joanne assured.

"I don't even now where to go and have fun where there isn't alcohol for sale." Maureen said.

Joanne smiled lightly at this, "Trust me Maureen there are places we can go. How bout this, tomorrow you, me, and Mimi will go out to lunch. You can tell her about…this… if you want. Then after lunch I'll take you somewhere awesome where there won't be any alcohol. You'll have a great time."

Maureen sighed, "Ok Joanne, sounds like a plan… I sure could use some Stoli." She said with a smile on her face.

Joanne laughed at Maureen's statement, "That's not funny." She said with laughter in her eyes. Before she got up she placed a small kiss on Maureen's forehead, "Don't worry Mo, I'm here for you."

* * *

Hope Maureen didn't sound like an alcoholic or anything. But we all know Maureen likes to party a lot and often.

Disclaimer: In the last two chapters I have gotten any of the rights to RENT, incase any one was wondering. lol


	6. Chapter 6

I know I know, I'm sorry for how long it has taken to update

* * *

Joanne had always been an early riser, even when she was a little girl she would be awake long before her mother came into her room to get her up. Today was no different; Joanne sat up from a restless sleep, at, according to a quick glance at the clock, eight in the morning. She flipped the covers off and slowly got out of bed.

"Great, only five hours of sleep." She mumbled to herself as she made her way from her bedroom to the kitchen. She hadn't gotten to sleep until three that morning, about half an hour after her and Maureen had spoken. She had spent the time laying bed unable to fall asleep.

She entered the kitchen and headed to the refrigerator. She bent to pick up two fresh oranges and a bottle of water. She paused for a moment as she remembered the statement Maureen had made last night. It was true that her favorite thing to eat in the morning were a few oranges. She fell deeper into thought as she sat at the kitchen table and began to peel an orange, her fingers moving mechanically as she concentrated on remembering what Maureen had said last night.

"Are you gonna eat those oranges or what, cause you've peeled all the skin of them?" Maureen said as she entered the kitchen, startling Joanne.

"What… no I, how did you know my favorite flowers were orchids." Joanne said as she regained her focus.

Maureen paused before answering, "Aside from the fact that those are the only type of flowers you take to Angel's grave." She paused again before continuing, "There was this one time when we had gotten into this big fight. I came by with a bouquet of flowers the next day, they were orchids. I just bought them because they were they were the only kind the street vendor had left. But when you opened the door your eyes just lit up. I don't think you even cared that I was apologizing or anything. You had forgiven me just because I brought orchids"

Joanne blushed lightly at Maureen's statement her eyes darting to the table top then back up to Maureen, "Yeah, I remember that…I love orchids."

Maureen and Joanne held eye contact for a few moments before Maureen turned and grabbed a bowl out of the cabinet she fixed herself a bowl of cereal before sitting down across from Joanne.

"So, where are we going today?" She asked after she swallowed her first bite.

Joanne finished chewing a piece of orange before replying, "I'm not telling, it'll be a surprise."

With a raised eyebrow Maureen replied, "Oh really?"

"Really." Joanne said as she stood from the table to throw away the orange peelings, she then sat back down to finish eating.

"So are you going to tell everyone about your…about the, about what the doctor said." Joanne struggled to say.

Maureen let out a small sigh before saying, "Well, they're gonna wonder why I'm not drinking all of a sudden. So it'll probably be best to tell them so they don't worry. Or at least so they'll know why they're worrying."

"That's…fair." Joanne replied as she finished her first orange and began eating her second.

"Its sort of ironic isn't it, I mean you always used to tell me how I shouldn't drink so much. It wasn't good for my health and all that stuff and now… well you were right." Maureen said bitterly.

"Believe me Maureen I wish I wasn't. And you know how much I enjoy being right." Joanne joked in an attempt to lighten Maureen's mood.

Maureen smiled at the comment, she sighed as she laid her spoon into her empty bowl.

Joanne rose from her chair, finished off her water bottle and tossed it into the trash. She then went over to the sink and attempted to wash the orange scent off of her hands, "I'm gonna take a shower, after me you can get in and then get changed and we'll head over to the loft."

"Are you sure you don't want me to join you." Maureen teased as she stood and placed her bowl in the sink, pressing against Joanne's back.

"Maureen." Joanne warned

Maureen laughed as she stepped away and headed into the living room, turning on the television as she plopped down on the coach.

"Don't tempt me." Joanne mumbled quietly as she finished washing her hands and turned off the water.

* * *

The two left Joanne's apartment around 10:30 they walked in silence to the loft. Maureen's thoughts on her upcoming revelation, Joanne's on…other things.

They were greeted by a sleepy looking Roger, who was sipping coffee as he lay on the couch.

"You two back together?" He asked as he glanced between Maureen and Joanne, noticing that Maureen was in the same clothes she had left in last night.

"No." Maureen said as she walked over to him hitting him lightly on the head as she passed. "I'm going to change." Maureen said over her shoulder to Joanne as she headed to her room.

"Okay." Joanne said as she pulled Roger's legs off the couch and sat in the vacant space.

"Careful gees, you two are so mean to me" Roger teased as he placed his feet on the floor.

"Oh please" Joanne said, "Remind me again...who brought you back that coffee your drinking from her last business trip to Boston."

"Touché" Roger said as he swung his feet back up laying them across Joanne's lap, his back rested against the arm of the couch.

"Ewwwww" Joanne said as she pushed his feet out of her lap and back on to the floor.

"Where is Mimi, cause I definitely don't want your feet in my lap." Joanne said as she glared playfully at him.

"She went to pick up her AZT from the pharmacy." Roger replied, "She should be back soon. Why?"

"She, Maureen, and I are going out to lunch." Joanne said as she toyed with a loose string on the arm of the couch.

"Let me guess I'm not invited." Roger replied as he took another sip.

"People who wear plaid are not invited." Joanne said as she glanced at his pants.

"Whatever, Mimi doesn't have a problem with me wearing plaid, just last night she said that these pants turn her on…" Roger began to say.

"Hold up, you've said enough." Joanne interrupted

At that moment Maureen exited her bedroom, dressed in jeans a black from fitting t-shirt and black boots. The loft door also swung open revealing Mimi.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked happily as she entered the loft closing the door behind her.

"We are taking you out to lunch to get you away from your crazy boyfriend." Joanne replied as she stood quickly from the coach and walked to the door.

"It's my lucky day today." Mimi replied as she ran over to Roger and placed a quick kiss on his lips and handed him the pharmacy bag.

"Tell Mark we said hey, whenever he comes back from… wherever he is." Joanne said as she stood at the door waiting for Maureen and Mimi.

The three women linked arms as they exited the loft. Roger couldn't help but smile when he heard the echo of their laughter as they left the building.

* * *

Once again IM SO SORRY about how long it has taken to update. I'm even more sorry that this chapter is more of a filler. Please don't be mad and please keep reading.

How was Roger? In character I hope.


	7. Chapter 7

The three women sat at a small table under a faded umbrella outside of the Life Café.

"I can't believe he said that to you." Mimi said as she struggled to control her laughter.

"I know! As much as I love you Mimi, I didn't want to know that," Joanne paused to take a sip of her water, "But I can't say it's unlike Roger to say something as…unfiltered as that."

"Sometimes I think he says whatever thoughts pop into his head." Mimi replied as her eyes scanned the menu. "So what are you going to have Maureen…hello earth to Maureen?" Mimi said as she turned her attention from the menu to Maureen who hadn't answered her question.

Maureen jumped slightly in surprise, she hadn't even heard Mimi's question. She couldn't seem to focus on the conversation, with so many things going through her head at the moment.

"Mo." Joanne said softly as she leaned over and placed her hand over one of Maureen's that was resting on the table, "Is everything okay, you seem kind of…not here. Mimi just asked you what you were thinking about ordering."

Maureen's eyes landed on Joanne's hand on top of hers. She closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh. Before she gently removed her hand from Joanne's and placed it in her lap. She just couldn't handle that right now, she couldn't handle her heart racing every time Joanne touched her or looked at her.

"Sorry." Joanne mumbled as she leaned back in her chair.

Maureen looked up and offered Joanne a small smile before saying, "It's not you, I just…I" Maureen turned to Mimi, "I'm thinking of ordering a salad or something."

"Something must be wrong." Mimi said as her eyes flickered between Maureen and Joanne the last interaction not going unnoticed. "You think a large French fry counts as a serving of vegetables and now you're talking about ordering a salad."

"Yeah well, I have to watch what I eat." Maureen said, taking another deep breath as she prepared to tell Mimi.

"And why is that, you're about as big as the straw in my cup." Mimi said, gesturing to her cup of ice tea for emphasis.

"Well I went to the doctors yesterday, and they say that my liver is…not doing so good, so I need to take it easy with what I drink and watch what I eat. So although I'd much rather be having a large coke, double bacon cheeseburger, and a large fry. I'm going to get water and a large house salad." Maureen said in one large breath.

"Wait, what?" Mimi said few moments later.

"Don't make me repeat all that Meems. Please don't make me repeat it" Maureen said her voice catching.

Mimi glanced between Joanne and Maureen, hoping, one of them would crack a smile and say that this was all some sick horrible joke.

"Maureen is going to be fine, the doctors caught this whole thing early and it's treatable. All she has to do is stop drinking alcohol for a few months and watch what she eats and she'll be as good as new." Joanne said quickly as she saw a look of horror begin to form on Mimi's face, "Don't worry everything is gong to be fine."

"God Maureen, couldn't you have started off with that. Instead of something about a doctor and a not so good liver, especially since Angel…well you know her liver went bad near the end." Mimi said as her pulse began to return to a normal pace.

"Sorry Meems, didn't mean to scare you." Maureen said softly.

Mimi let out a sigh, "Its fine, as long as you're going to fine I'm not mad…are you going to tell everyone else?"

"Yeah I just, need some time. I've barely wrapped my mind around it myself. So I just need some time before I share with everyone" Maureen said.

"Well Maureen I'm…" Joanne paused when her pager began to go off. She reached into her purse and pulled it out. Glancing at the name she stood, "I need to call this person, I'll be right back." She said before getting up and heading into the café.

After Joanne entered the café Mimi turned toward Maureen, who was absently tearing a napkin into tiny pieces. "You still love her, don't you." She said expressionlessly.

Maureen slowly placed the remains of the napkin on the table before looking at Mimi and saying, "I never stopped, even when…even when I cheat…"

"But something is different this time." Mimi gently interrupted, "I can see it in your eyes, you…I don't know but something is different."

A painful smile appeared on Maureen's face, "I'm scared Mimi, Scared that I'll have to try and live the rest of my life without her. I was never scared before, before I always knew I could get her back, but this time… this time…" Maureen paused to blink back tears, the events of the previous nights becoming overwhelming, "You should have seen her face when she ended it, she was, she was just done, completely done."

"She's hear for you now though." Mimi said as she handed Maureen a fresh napkin to wipe her eyes with.

"Yeah, but as a friend…she's just being a good friend." Maureen said as she wiped her eyes.

"So what did I miss?" Joanne asked as she returned from inside the café and took her seat.

"Nothing, Maureen and I were just talking about her…" Mimi began, but she was interrupted by Maureen.

"We were just talking about what I was going to order, and I've decided on the salad, so that's all we talked about." Maureen said.

"Okaay." Joanne said, she sensed there was something more but she didn't want to press it if Maureen didn't want to share.

"Well lets order then if everyone is." Joanne said as she waved a waiter over.

An hour later Mimi, Maureen, and Joanne stood at the entrance of the loft, the mood considerably lighter.

"All see you soon, ok Mimi. We should make this lunch a regular thing." Joanne said as she embraced Mimi in a hug.

"Oh definitely." Mimi said as she pulled away and opened the door to the loft, "Bye Maureen, see you soon."

"Bye Mimi." Maureen said back.

Joanne and Maureen exited the large building and stopped out front.

"So where are we going?" Maureen asked excited to find out where Joanne had decided to take her.

"You'll find out." Was Joanne's reply as she turned and began walking up the street.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Joanne and Maureen stood at the entrance to a park.

"We've been here before haven't we?" Maureen said as she and Joanne walked along one of the parks many pathways. She fought the urge to reach out and interlace their hands.

"Yeah we have, you ran over to those swings over there." Joanne said as she pointed to the playground, "and scared me to death when you jumped from the swing."

Maureen let out a laugh, "Oh yeah that was so much fun. Let's get on the swings again."

Joanne allowed Maureen to lead her over to the swing set; they both sat down and began to swing gently back and forth.

After a few moments Joanne interrupted the comfortable silence, "Maureen there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" Maureen said her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I've, I've been offered a job…in Boston, the call I took at the café was them. There is a big firm there, and they're offering to make me a partner. It's a great opportunity, and well…I've accepted. They're giving me three months to get my affaires here in order. Which is long enough for me to be here for you, during this whole liver thing and since we aren't together anymore… its time…I just need to get away from New York for awhile."

"You're leaving?" Maureen asked quietly, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Joanne was leaving New York, leaving her.

"Well not for awhile, but yeah I'm leaving." Joanne replied, she nervously bit her bottom lip, this wasn't the reaction she had been expecting.

Maureen stood suddenly, "Well I guess this is goodbye then." She said she then began to walk away.

Joanne stood and caught up to Maureen, grabbing her by the elbow, "Maureen wait, I have three months this doesn't have to be goodbye, at least not today, not now. I want to be here for you, help you get through this."

Maureen pulled her arm out of Joanne's grasp, "No Joanne, this does have to be goodbye, right here right now. I'm going to walk away, I'm going to walk away and I don't want you to come get me. I need to forget you and I won't forget you if this isn't goodbye." Maureen leaned in and placed a light kiss on Joanne's lips.

Joanne watched as Maureen walked away. Every fiber in her body was screaming at her to follow Maureen. But her feet wouldn't move no matter how badly she wanted to run after Maureen. Her mouth wouldn't open regardless of how much she wanted to scream at Maureen to come back. Joanne stood there and waited until Maureen was out of sight, she then and waited a few minutes more before turning in the opposite direction and heading home.

* * *

Maureen walked quickly through the crowded New York streets until she finally returned to Alphabet City. She walked into a club, ignoring any attempts for her attention. Maureen walked over to the bar.

"Hi, can I get a beer please." She asked the bartender, not even bothering to say anything while he blatantly stared at her chest.

"Sure and this one is one the house." He said as he handed her a beer.

"Thanks, and keep em' coming." Maureen said as she took a seat on the bar stool.

Maureen knew the perfect way to forget Joanne. She didn't care if it would hurt her. Nothing could be worse then the pain she was in right now.


	8. Chapter 8

Speeeeaaak. "Hey everyone its Joanne, anyone there…pick up…well I guess no one, oh hey Mark."

"Hey Joanne what's up?" Mark replied as he lay on the coach in the loft absently cleaning the lens on his camera.

"Hey Mark. I was just calling to make sure that Maureen got home okay, she was kind of upset when I last saw her and…I just wanted to make sure she was okay." Joanne replied. She lay curled up in bed in her apartment, rolled away from the side that smelled distinctly of peaches. After she left the park she had gone home, changed into some sweats and a t-shirt and climbed into bed. She hadn't been able to get Maureen off of her mind and had finally gathered the courage to call the loft.

"What do you mean…isn't she with you?" Mark replied, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion "She hasn't been home and I just figured that you guys… and you know…I figured she was with you."

Joanne sat up, her heart rate began to quicken, "No, she's not with me, the last time I saw her was…" Joanne paused to glance at the clock "over five hours ago. She said she needed to forget about…oh my god."

The phone slipped out of Joanne's hand and landed softly on the bed.

"Well you know Maureen. Whenever she wants to forget about a bad audition or a bad day she just goes to the bar and gets completely wasted. She'll probably stumble in later." Mark replied, unaware that Joanne was no longer listening she had gotten her coat on and was headed out the door.

* * *

Joanne entered the fifth bar of the evening her tired eyes quickly searching through the crowds of people for any sign of Maureen. No, too short. Guy, Guy, Guy, Blonde Hair, Red Head, she was about to turn and leave when by a stroke of luck she spotted her. Maureen sat alone on a barstool, surrounded by several empty beer bottles.

"Maureen what have you done?" Joanne whispered to herself as she walked quickly over to where Maureen sat.

Joanne slid into the barstool next to Maureen but the diva didn't turn to acknowledge her. Joanne let out a large sigh before turning to face Maureen preparing herself for the storm ahead.

"Maureen, what are you doing here?" Joanne asked as she counted the number of empty beer bottles that lay around Maureen.

Maureen turned slowly to face Joanne, her head was cocked slightly to the side, "I told you…forgetting, forgetting your face, your touch, your laugh, forgetting the way you sing to yourself when you think no one's listening, forgetting that I've lost you. Most importantly I'm forgetting that I love you."

Joanne stared silently at Maureen her mind reeling with thoughts and emotions. She reached out and gently took Maureen's hand in her own, and laced their fingers together, before saying "Maureen...there are some people you can't forget no matter how hard you try and the harder you try to forget them the more it hurts you. People who come into your life and touch you so deeply that from the moment you first meet them, the moment you first hear their name you know your life will never be the same. Now, I don't if I've touched you that deeply. But for me, I know I will never, I can never forget you and I don't want to try. You've changed me, you've made me a better person. Forced me to accept I'm not perfect and I never will be. Taught me to love unconditionally, and don't ever doubt that I love you. But Maureen it hurts, it hurts that I'm not enough for you and I'm so tired of being hurt. So don't forget that you love me don't forget that I love you. Remember, remember what we had and be a better person because of it."

Tears streamed down both women's cheeks. Joanne reached out and tenderly brushed a stray piece of hair behind Maureen's ear. Maureen leaned into her touch her body shaking slightly with silent sobs.

"I won't ever be able to forget you Joanne and I hate that I'll have to wake up every day of my life with the regret that I've hurt you and with the regret that I don't have you. I'm so sorry I hurt you. You are more then enough for me, you're all I need and it kills me to think that I'm the reason you're hurting. Maybe it's what I get for treating you the way I did." Maureen whispered.

"We both made mistakes in this relationship and we both are going to have to live with the regret. But this…"Joanne paused and gestured to the empty beer bottles, "is not the way to deal with any of it."

Joanne stood from her barstool, gently pulling Maureen up with her. She wiped the remaining tears off of her face, "Come on, you can stay at my apartment again tonight and tomorrow…we'll talk." Joanne took a deep breath before continuing, "I can't forget about you and I don't want to just remember. I want to make new memories, happy memories…with you"

A slow smile spread across Maureen's face, "Okay let's go."

Maureen stood from her barstool and immediately she could tell something was wrong. The room swayed around her and her head was pounding, this wasn't right, this was more then just a few beers.

"Joanne I…" Maureen placed a hand to her head and attempted to continue, but the next thing she knew was darkness.

"Someone call an ambulance!"Joanne screamed as she held up Maureen's limp body, "My girlfriend just fainted!"

* * *

I thought it was fitting that Mark was the one to answer the phone, what do you guys think?

Please review! I'm really interested to hear what you guys thought about this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

"This can't be happening. I can't be in another hospital with another person I love..." Joanne thought to herself as she sat next to Maureen's bed.

Maureen was still unconscious, after they had made it the hospital several doctors rushed her to the ER where the pumped her stomach, hoping to remove as much alcohol from Maureen's system as they could. When they brought her back to her room they had connected her to an IV that was now dripping vitamins and nutrients into her system, it was the doctor's hopes that these would give Maureen's body what it needed to begin repairing her damaged systems. The sooner the body could begin repair the less permanent damage would be done.

Joanne stood from the chair, careful to avoid any tubes or wires that were connected to Maureen. She went out into the hallway hoping a nurse would allow her to use one of the available phones. She had called the loft once already but no one had answered and she had no choice but to leave a message telling the bohos where they were and to come as soon as they could. She picked up the phone nodding to the nurse who had allowed her to use it and begin to dial the familiar number.

"Joanne!"

Joanne, her finger poised above the final digit, turned to see Mark, Roger, and Mimi walking quickly towards her. She placed the phone down and was quickly engulfed in a hug from Mimi.

"Chica. What happened, is she okay?" Mimi asked as she pulled away, her eyes scanning Joanne checking to make sure the lawyer wasn't injured as well.

Before Joanne could answer Mimi's question Mark and Roger both asked "Joanne, what's going on? What's wrong with Maureen?"

Joanne let out a heavy sigh before leading the whole family into Maureen's room.

There was in audible intake of breath as Mimi, Roger and Mark finally saw Maureen.

Joanne, who hadn't entered the room but was leaning against the doorframe, asked "Where's Collins? He'll want to be here to hear this."

"Joanne come on you're really scaring us here. What's going on with Maureen?" Mark asked wide eyed as he took in the sight before him.

Joanne finally entered the room she walked over to Maureen's bed, her eyes scanning her fallen diva before answering.

"Maureen was diagnosed with some liver trouble, due to her…passion…for drinking. The doctor's told her to avoid alcohol for two months and watch what she ate. If she did that she would be fine. But today, after we left you Meems" Joanne paused glancing at Mimi, "we got in a…It wasn't a fight. I don't know what the hell happened but she was upset. So she went out and…" Joanne paused, inhaling a deep breath trying to keep her voice under control, not wanting her friends to realize she was fighting back tears.

"Got drunk." Mark finished for her.

A quick glance at Mark's face told her he wasn't blaming her, but he knew Maureen well enough to know that was what she would do.

"Yeah" Joanne continued "I went out looking for her and found her at a bar. We talked and as we got up to leave she passed out. Someone called the hospital and next thing I know we're here. Maureen's getting wheeled into the ER and I'm feeling like I'm here for Angel all over again."

Joanne stopped, unable to speak as tears slowly began to roll down her face.

"Oh God Joanne." Mimi said as she walked over to her and pulled her into a comforting hug. Her hand rubbing circles on her back in attempts to calm her.

"Is she going to be okay?" Roger asked.

"They don't know. The fucking doctors don't know." Joanne said before burying her head against Mimi's shoulder.

"Wait, what?!" Roger asked, advancing toward Joanne.

"They said that, because Maureen's liver couldn't handle the toxins they were released into her bloodstream. Those toxins traveled to her heart, her brain. They don't know if she is going to wake up and if she does wake up they don't know how much damage has been done. They don't fucking know Roger." Joanne replied as she removed herself from Mimi's embrace and once again sat down in the chair beside Maureen's bed."

Mark had moved to sit, slumped over, in another chair next to the door. Mimi and Roger were sitting next to each other in chairs that were at the foot of Maureen's bed. A silence had enveloped the room that none of them had the ability to break.

"Okay I'm here what'd I miss?" Collins asked, as he entered the room, causing four pairs of eyes to look to him, Collins's eyes darted from one person to the next before finally landing on Maureen, "Oh no." he muttered

"Jo…Joanne?"

Four pairs of eyes darted back to Maureen's bed.

Joanne stood and grasped Maureen's hand, "Maureen? Yes Maureen I'm here. Oh God she's awake. Someone get a nurse or a doctor. She's awake."

Mimi, Roger, Collins and Mark all darted out of the room in search of someone who could help.

Joanne gently ran her hand through Maureen's hair, brushing the crazy curls out of the other women's face.

"Thank goodness you're awake." Joanne murmured.

"I'm awake, and I'm never drinking alcohol again." Maureen whispered as small smile formed on her face.


	10. Chapter 10

There they were, laughing and talking like Maureen wasn't lying in a hospital bed, like they were all one big family again. A family that had never seen loss, a family who hadn't felt pain, and a family that was ready for the future. Whatever it may bring.

"Joanne" Maureen said, clutching her stomach trying to recover from a Collins induced fit of laughter "Could you hand me some water?"

Joanne immediately stood from her chair at Maureen's bedside, grabbing the water pitcher on the nearby table and pouring some into a cup. Handing it to Maureen then sitting down again.

"Thanks Jo" Maureen said, bringing the cup of water to her mouth and taking a long drink, letting out a satisfied sigh when the cup was empty.

Mimi stood from her seat on Roger's lap, stretching lightly as she spoke "Sorry Mau, I've gotta head to work. I'll be by to visit, tomorrow. The doctor said you'd be here for a few days, right?"

Mimi was referring to when Maureen's doctor had come by, a few minutes after she'd woken up. After several test he'd determined that Maureen was going to be ok. She'd be weak for a few days. She'd need three days of dialysis where they would cleanse her blood and pump it back into her system and she'd be on a restricted diet for awhile. But, even through all that, eventually she'd be ok. The doctor had said she must've had a guardian angel.

They all knew she did. They all had a guardian Angel.

Roger stood. "I'll walk you to work." He turned to Maureen, "Don't do anything stupid again."

Maureen chuckled. "Love you too, Roger."

The two left, a few minutes later Collins and Mark left as well. Mark saying he had some filming to do and Collins had a class he had to teach. Both promised they'd stop by the next day.

Joanne stood to walk Mark and Collins out, waving goodbye to Collins, a little surprised to see that Mark was still standing, fiddling with his hands.

"Mark…?" Joanne asked.

Mark looked up at Joanne, pushing his glasses up before clearing his throat and saying. "Joanne…I uh…take care of her ok…she means a lot…to this family, as do you. Nobody wants to see you get hurt and I don't know if we could handle another loss."

Joanne reached out laying a light hand on Mark's shoulder. No more words were exchanged, but they weren't really needed.

After Mark left Joanne reentered Maureen's room, taking a seat by her beside.

"Joanne…" Maureen said hesitantly. "I just…I just wanted to say thank you, for being here and everything else you've done for me."

Joanne reached out, brushing a stray curl out of Maureen's face. "You're worth it. You will always be worth it."

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AN: Please review, I know I haven't said it nearly enough. But I really do appreciate any and all feedback I get.

Also, fair warning, this story is probably coming to a close. Maybe one or two chapters more.

Thanks.


	11. Chapter 11

Three months had passed since Maureen had been discharged from the hospital. She'd been following the doctor's orders, gone to all of her dialysis treatments, and was slowly but surely returning to the Maureen everyone knew and loved. Joanne and Maureen hadn't spoken about the discussion they'd had the night Joanne had found her at the bar. Instead, they'd been focusing on getting Maureen healthy, focusing on anything but where their relationship was headed.

"Joanne open up." Maureen called as she knocked on Joanne's apartment door.

The door swung open, Joanne stepping away to let Maureen in as she went into the kitchen, her phone to her ear.

Maureen sighed, shaking her head at Joanne. It was a Saturday, but just from the look on Joanne's face Maureen could tell the call was from work.

"Yes, I understand." Maureen could hear Joanne say from the kitchen. "All right, thank you. Goodbye."

Joanne entered the living room, taking a seat next to Maureen on the couch.

"Joanne, you won't believe what happened today at the loft." Maureen began "Roger, fell asleep and Mimi and I decided to start playing with his guitar. In retrospect that was probably a bad Idea. Anyway, he wakes up he flips out oh my god it was hilarious. Then Mark comes in from filming…"

"Maureen…" Joanne said softly.

"And he's practically in tears because he discovered that there was a scratch on his camera. When I say scratch I mean this incredibly tiny almost invisible line. That you would never be able to see…"

"Maureen…" Joanne tried again.

"Unless you were looking for it. I mean the scratch is practically invisible to the naked eye. They both are freaking out and Mimi and I are just sitting there watching the two of them trying not to burst out in laughter."

"Maureen." Joanne said more firmly this time.

"What is it Joanne? I'm trying to tell you this hilarious story and you're not even listening." Maureen said exasperated.

Joanne let out a sigh. "I…we need to talk."

"Okay…" Maureen said.

"Do you remember that job offer I told you about…?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Maureen asked, biting her lip. Not liking where this conversation was headed.

"They called me today…and well, my three months are up." Joanne said softly.

"Joanne, what, you can't…no." Maureen said.

"Maureen, this is a great opportunity for me. They're making me partner. I'm going to be one of the youngest partners on the east coast. Also, they're offering me this job because of my work. Not because they know my Mom or my Dad. I can't pass this up." Joanne said.

"But what about me?" Maureen whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"I love you Maureen, so much. So much that even though I want you to come I'm not going to ask you to. I'm not going to ask you to pick up your whole life, leave the city that you practically live and breathe. Leave the family that means so much to you. I can't do that to you."

"When do you leave?"

Joanne paused before answering. "Two days."

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AN: Please review.


	12. Chapter 12

Joanne had waited by the phone, waited until she was forced to rush out of her apartment, risking missing her flight. She'd waited until the tears wouldn't stop flowing. Waited until she'd realized Maureen wasn't going to come knocking on her door, using that infamous pout to try and get her to stay until she'd realized Maureen wasn't going to call. She'd waited and waited for a call or a knock that never came.

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Standing in the security line at the airport Joanne struggled to convince herself this was for the best. Walking through the metal detectors she made a mental list of all she'd have to do once she got to Boston. Smiling politely at the security guard she fought to keep the tears from escaping. She'd expected yelling, fighting, Maureen trying to get her to stay. That, she might've been prepared for. But the silence, the acceptance, was killing her. Wasn't she worth more, wasn't she worth fighting for. Apparently Maureen didn't think she was.

Picking up her things after they'd been sent through the scanner Joanne was so lost in thought she almost didn't hear her name being called, almost.

"Joanne, Joanne!"

Joanne looked up, her eyes immediately finding the striking brunette who was the source of her heartbreak.

Maureen stood on one side of the security check point, Joanne on the other.

"When all of this first began" Maureen started, her eyes locked with Joanne's as if they were the only two in the room. "You asked me if you were worth it. I didn't have an answer then, but I do now. It's so obvious to me, so glaringly obvious that I can't believe I didn't tell you, I can't believe I didn't tell you every hour of every day we were together. Joanne, you are worth it, that's why I cheated, stayed out late, did everything I could to push you away. I'm not telling you this to hurt you, I'm telling you because you're worth the truth, worth uprooting my life, leaving my home, my family. Joanne you will always _always _be worth it to me and it scared me. It scared me that I would change my whole life, anything, and everything to be with you."

Joanne struggled to fight back tears, keep herself together.

"So I'm asking you…I'm asking you, to give me a day, let me pack my stuff, say goodbye and I'll come with you. Joanne, I _want_ to go with you, _be_ with you, I just need a day."

Joanne knew she was running late for her plane, she knew that if she took the steps forward to meet Maureen, she'd miss her plane and there was no second chance, she needed to be in Boston by that evening at work the next day. There was no room for another day.

But as she took the steps forward, crossing the boundary between her and Maureen, collapsing into her lover's arms, none of that seemed to matter.

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AN: Please Review. Also, heads up, next chapter is the last.

Dislcaimer, cause I haven't done one in a while, I sadly still don't own RENT.

Claimer, yeah I wrote the story, just borrowed the characters.


	13. Chapter 13

_A year later…_

"Hi Everyone!!" Maureen said loudly as she slid open the loft door, waiting for Joanne to enter before closing it behind her.

Roger's only reply was a grunt as he searched through the refrigerator for a beer.

Mimi and Collins smiled to Maureen, both of them sitting on the couch, making funny faces at Mark as he filmed them from his seat on the floor.

Mark offered a small wave as he continued to film the two.

Maureen took a seat on the couch next to Collins, reaching out and pulling Joanne onto her lap. Joanne smiled, leaning back into her as she turned her attention to Collins.

"So, I've been doing some research with my friends down at legal aid and technically…." She began only to be interrupted by a squeal from Mimi.

"Oh my God! Chica!! Is that an engagement ring!!?" Mimi said, bouncing up and grasping Joanne's left hand, staring, eyes wide, at the gold band, with a medium sized diamond set in the middle.

Joanne nodded, a large smile on her face, as she turned to place a kiss on Maureen's cheek.

"Could it be Joanne Jefferson has gotten the infamous Maureen Johnson to propose?" Mark narrated with a smile as he turned the camera to the happy couple.

"Oh shut up Mark." Maureen said with a smile, glaring playfully at the camera.

Roger finally entered the living room, setting his beer on the table, as he sat down in a chair. "Who are you and what have you done with Maureen. You realize you're going to have to give up the late nights and flirting and…all the other crazy stuff you pull." he said with a smirk.

Before Maureen could answer Collins exclaimed, "Damn Mo, how much did you spend on that ring?"

"Yeah, how am I ever going to get Mimi one that compares?" Roger interjected from the couch.

"You're getting me an engagement ring?" Mimi said, turning her head to Roger.

All eyes shifted to a blushing Roger.

"I..uh well..umm..oh look beer." He said, quickly reaching out for his and taking a large drink.

Mimi laughed, turning back to Joanne and Maureen. "It's beautiful…" she said softly, her eyes on the ring.

Maureen smiled at her family, turning her head to look at Joanne. "She's worth it." She said. "All of it."

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AN: Hope you enjoyed. Please Review.


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